The war with your body doesn’t end through willpower.

You know this feeling.

You wake up — and your first thought isn’t “good morning”.

It’s the number on the scale.

You eat something “forbidden” and spend the next few hours in a

courtroom where you are the judge, the prosecutor,

and the defendant, all at once.

Because it sounds like instructions in a language you were never taught.

Because you were taught something else.

That being thin means discipline.

That eating is something to control.

That your body is a project that is never finished.

These are not your thoughts.

These are the voices from the table where you grew up.

This is a culture where a girl’s body was public property – not personal space.

Post-Soviet shame is real. And it does not heal with affirmations.

My name is Alisa.

I spent seven years at war with my own body.

• - Restriction.
• - Binges.
• - Eating alone at night.

Morning promises that “everything will change.”

I read about intuitive eating and body positivity — and felt like it

was written for someone else.

This is a culture where a girl’s body was public property – not personal space.

Post-Soviet shame is real.

And healing must be built differently.

Not through slogans.

Not through punishment.

But through understanding what the body learned.